Fragmented Thoughts

I remember my first REAL taste of being black in America. Living in Texas (somewhere between 8 and 9 years old) and got called the “n” word. Was never exposed to any historical information about the word itself, even though I loved history, but I remember it.

My first proud to be black moment was when Harold Washington passed away. It seemed like the world around me stopped to mourn a black mayor. Didn’t fully understand it then, but I did over time.

My first negative experiences with the police usually involved a black cop. But I will NEVER forget how a white police officer jumped out of his car on a bunch of 7th graders while old white people were standing on their porches waving their phones at us and threatening us. The first person to ever pull a gun out on me was a white cop. Just because 6 of us were walking in a group from school. None of us knew the “grouping law” (I can’t remember the name of it exactly but we also called it “mob action”) limited groups to no more than 4 or 5 people.

I don’t miss how Riverdale police was when I was in my early teens.

Or how I watched, from my grandmother’s front porch, as what felt like the entirety of 111th Police station (this isn’t a small police station by any means) showed up on 116th street after their officers called for help (they didn’t need it)

Or how a shooting happened at a house party on the corner of 116th and no police showed up but we knew there was an officer sitting in his car on 115th and Harvard (which we found they were STILL THERE after the shooting)

How we KNEW the police would only ride down 119th and 115th but never the blocks. (the stuff we knew)

I also know people who have had to bury loved ones due to the violence being perpetrated within our own neighborhoods. I also understand why someone, out of desperation, would want extreme measures handed out in order to get rid of the element that is causing the issue. Funny thing is, in growing up on the southside of Chicago, I understand why those old white people were so upset about a group of black kids walking their street.

I never said it was right, I said I understand.

For them, it was the thing they moved further south to get away from, following them further south. For us, we was just happy to see the end of a school day. For them, it was the beginning of the end.

Over 20 years ago, I heard Ice Cube refer to something called “The Nigger Trap”. I could see his point. Incarceration rates, new laws being put in place, and so forth and so forth. As I got older, I started to REALLY understand it. Follow along with me real quick because African American History is riddled with these tales.

The promise of riches. At the end of the movie, “Panther” they show a black man meeting with some random looking white men. The black man agrees to start selling crack cocaine in AA neighborhoods. Thus, this is how crack became a problem in the black neighborhoods. But what if he would’ve said no?

What if, instead of chasing riches, he said no. Then, he told others about it scheme meant to destroy our neighborhoods? Maybe we would’ve gotten another black wall street?

Speaking of which,

Auction House of Pride

Maybe it’s just me…

I’m addressing this whole Donald sterling situation… You know, the Clippers owner who made racist comments…

How does this guy have a history of belittling minorities as far back as, and more people are coming out, Elgin Baylor was a player, but you constantly have players who sign with the Clippers as free agent, black coaches signing contracts, and more.  I mean what am I missing here?

You have people coming out the woodworks saying these comments aren’t a surprise to them because of this man’s history, but he’s been an owner for decades and someone who puts his name on the paychecks of many black and minority men…  Are we THAT thirsty for money we’ll sell our supposed black pride for the right amount? 

I know, I know, blacks have sold their black pride for money before.  Crack, guns, territory, and so forth.  Hell, blacks will sell their soul for sex, so I don’t even know why I’m questioning it all right now.  But these things came to my mind earlier.

The NBA does extensive research on players, as does any other major sport.  Their investing millions into these players.  You mean to tell me that, as much as we tell one another to Google a business prior to a job interview, these cats aren’t doing the same thing and their public image is attached to all this?

And don’t give me nothing about “well they HAVE to play for the team their drafted to or honor their contract.”  Please, there are provisions in every contract that deal with player conduct and such.  People don’t even know, the Bulls didn’t have to pay a dime of Jason Williams rehab or even keep him on the team after he nearly killed himself in a motorcycle accident.  Why?  That was a provision in his contract that voided his contract if he was caught doing ANYTHING that could seriously damage his body, health, and life.  They just looked out.

So, again, have we put the legacy of those who fought for our respect up as a people for sale?  Threw it away under the guise of “winning a title” or “feeding our families”?

The white guy saying racists comments isn’t what angers or bothers me.  I grew up in Texas, went to school in Riverdale walking through neighborhoods of white people who called me everything but my name, and worked on the north side of Chicago.  So racist white people don’t surprise me.

What surprises me is the response of blacks as well as the racism of this owner being common knowledge in NBA and sports circles but NO ONE had a word to say UNTIL it became PUBLIC AND SPONSOR (those who buy tickets with money and those who pay money to advertise) knowledge.

Like they say, ” money talks and bullshit runs a marathon”