For the last 23 years I have wrestled with the darkness of depression.  More accurately, I was diagnosed as a manic depressant at the age of 14 (I’m merely assuming it was sooner than that that the emotional feelings truly began)

I would like to say it has probably taken just as long for me to come to a place of controlling it versus letting it control me.  I will admit this much though, it takes a level of emotional discipline that I never thought I had.  Manic depression is quite difficult to master.  It’s called “manic” because the highs of y emotional state are truly very high.  The “depression” is found in my down moments.  Because they are truly down moments.

So, at any given moment, while based on triggers, I can either be extremely emotionally high or extremely emotionally down.  The mastery of this involved finding a good middle ground d emotionally.  Where I am neither up not down, but a comfortable calm.

The drawback to this is that some people would swear I am emotionally dead because I never give away my emotional state.  Do I have times when I am emotionally down?  Of course, otherwise I wouldn’t have days where I have to power through just to fight the urge to run and hide.

Same with my emotional highs.  I have to talk myself down so that I’m not emotionally off in space somewhere.  This impacts my ability to maintain a fruitful relation with a woman because most women are driven by emotion and they often expect their mate to follow suit.

I don’t.  I merely keep pushing forward as if I am not affected when , in fact, I am.  It’s just a matter of me maintaining myself emotionally so that I don’t either crash or my expectations exceed the moment.  So I choose my comfortable calm.

It took some time, experimentation, and failures to understand what works for me.  And, what works for me, might not work for everyone else.  But I still advise people to at least try to find their comfort zone.  Then, once they do, expand it little by little.  Because you don’t want to become a person who just has a small comfort zone.  So small that, in fact, it’s nearly impossible for anyone else to join you and enjoy your presence or find comfort with you.

It is time consuming, yet very rewarding.

So, this is my little piece of advice for the day… Hope it helped someone.