Cushioning The Lopsided Foot

Spent the day ripping and running all through Ann Arbor taking care of some personal business..  Honestly, I enjoyed it.  Why?  Because I was able to do something I haven’t been able to do in a long time, and that’s have a cushion financially.

The road to get to this point hasn’t been easy, but it’s a road worth traveling.  Of course , I had plenty of help along the way, and I am eternally grateful.  It’s just the point for me, since this was a goal of mine, to be able to organize myself in such a way that I’m able to save money.

And honestly, it feels good.  So, where do I go from here?  I couldn’t tell you to be honest.  Mostly because I also set out to cut down on my spending on a month to month basis and now pull up a revised budget.

I also met someone who holds my interest a bit.  Not an easy task for anyone, but it really isn’t that hard to pull off.  I figure, relationship wise, I am allowed to be picky, but for the right reasons.  Not for anything materialistic or physical, but because I want to ensure the shoe fits right while leaving room for me to grow.  Sounds selfish I suppose, but I think the other person should feel I fit her while letting her have her own space to grow.

And the key thing is that we can then grow together.  Who wants a lopsided foot anyway.

Being Single

I’m 36 and single.  Ugh, single.  Honestly, I’ve never experienced anything more boring exercise of human existence.  I guess some find it fun to be single.  I’m not built like that.  I’m more of the “life is exciting while with a partner” type of person.  Unfortunately, my social skills to obtain a mate are sorely lacking.  *sigh*

But I’m working on it.  No, I REALLY am working on it.  Like blood, sweat, and tears type of effort ya know.  It’s just, well the thing of it is this, I don’t want to be one of those people so stuck on “wanting” that I screw it up.  So, I hold back from time to time.  Ok, that was a lie, I hold back ALL the time.  Mostly because I have come to find out that no matter how much a person wants another person to be “real”, I’ve been told I am often too real.  I will admit to speaking my mind from time to time and also being honest about myself up front.  But, I kind of thought that is the type of foundation people would desire.  An honest one.

 

So, therein lies my frustration with the dating scene that I have entrenched myself in.  Why should i have to hold back my opinions, or tailor my opinions to someone who might not even make the final cut anyway.  And, the sad thing in my mind, I’m NOT even trying to sleep with anyone, I’m just trying to find ONE.  My life isn’t a lay’s commercial.  I just want one woman.  I’m not saying I want THE one because I feel that the one woman I wind up with will be the one not because God chose her to be the one for me but because I chose her. (that is another writing entirely, so be on the look out for that explanation)

 

So this is my current thought process in a nutshell.  I’m done writing for now.  I’m going to go watch some youtube videos, finish reading a book, or play a game or something….