I’m 36 and single.  Ugh, single.  Honestly, I’ve never experienced anything more boring exercise of human existence.  I guess some find it fun to be single.  I’m not built like that.  I’m more of the “life is exciting while with a partner” type of person.  Unfortunately, my social skills to obtain a mate are sorely lacking.  *sigh*

But I’m working on it.  No, I REALLY am working on it.  Like blood, sweat, and tears type of effort ya know.  It’s just, well the thing of it is this, I don’t want to be one of those people so stuck on “wanting” that I screw it up.  So, I hold back from time to time.  Ok, that was a lie, I hold back ALL the time.  Mostly because I have come to find out that no matter how much a person wants another person to be “real”, I’ve been told I am often too real.  I will admit to speaking my mind from time to time and also being honest about myself up front.  But, I kind of thought that is the type of foundation people would desire.  An honest one.

So, therein lies my frustration with the dating scene that I have entrenched myself in.  Why should i have to hold back my opinions, or tailor my opinions to someone who might not even make the final cut anyway.  And, the sad thing in my mind, I’m NOT even trying to sleep with anyone, I’m just trying to find ONE.  My life isn’t a lay’s commercial.  I just want one woman.  I’m not saying I want THE one because I feel that the one woman I wind up with will be the one not because God chose her to be the one for me but because I chose her. (that is another writing entirely, so be on the look out for that explanation)

So this is my current thought process in a nutshell.  I’m done writing for now.  I’m going to go watch some youtube videos, finish reading a book, or play a game or something….